Christmas Clutter? Eh… OK…

By on 12/11/2013
Credit: CartoonStock.com

The thing about me is that I am the most Type B person around. It’s raining outside? Eh, let’s just stay in. You want to pick the restaurant? Sounds good to me! Out of clean coffee mugs? Looks like I’m drinking coffee out of a wine glass this morning!

Example: Hubby and I recently decided to trade in our 2004 Element as it was about to require a lot of work and so we felt the best choice was to put that money into a new(ish) car instead. We have a friend at a dealership near by and so I called him up and told him I wanted to trade in my old Element for a newer Element (they stopped making them in 2011). He said they didn’t have any and probably won’t any time soon. That was the extent of my caring. I said, “OK. Well, this is my budget, give me a car for that and we are good.”  What kind? I don’t care. What color? I don’t care. What year? I don’t care. My only requests were low miles and in budget. That is just how I am. It’s a car. I want it to get me from point A to point B as efficiently as possible. (I ended up with a 2010 CR-V because it’s the next best thing to an Element, so says friend. It also only had 18,000 miles on it which is mind blowing).

My always long winded point is I am ok going with the flow, wherever that may lead. There is no need to really stress about choosing between which mall Santa we go see. They’re all the same. I find I am my happiest when I just let life happen, don’t sweat the small stuff, enjoy each moment for what it is, and enjoy life as it comes. (I feel I should add a small disclaimer that this doesn’t mean being a push over. If I DO have a strong opinion about something then it will be shared. But I also find I am happiest when I let go of a lot of my preconceived ideas of how things *should* be. My life is best left untethered by my own expectations.)

Credit: CartoonStock.com

Credit: CartoonStock.com

But here is the funny catch. This easy, breezy lifestyle completely halts when it comes to my house. For some reason I turn into OCD, type A, anal retentive Anna. Everything must be clean and organized at all times. Hubby kicks off his shoes next to the couch? Initiate annoyed stare! Cats knock over empty cup near sink while I am cooking? Must stop cooking immediately and risk burnt food to pick up cup and properly place it in dish washer and who put this here anyway the dish washer is literally RIGHT HERE. Seb, the mighty 2 year old, made a mess with his toys? Must clean immediately! I’m like a mom-shaped Roomba following him around all day, sucking up his messes behind him as he moves on to find more things to destroy. Luckily for me, hubby tolerates this neurosis well, and actually helps to maintain my high standard of everything-must-be-clean-and-shinny-at-all-times ideals. He honestly probably has a higher score when it comes to how many times we’ve each swept the floors, and with a toddler, 2 cats and all tile, that number is something like 1.1 million times.

And so here is catch number 2: Hubby is out of town. Heck, hubby is out of the country! On business just for a week, but it happens to be a very busy week for me, and so a funny thing happened; I hit a wall and I didn’t even notice!

You see, I wanted this to be the obligatory “look at mah Christmuss decorashions” post, and as I started snapping photos, I finally saw it…. Holy crap! There are messes all over my house, and yet I seem un-phased enough to still posts these photos online. What is this peace of mind? It feels funny!

Lets look and laugh at my “decor”, shall we? (No, I didn’t edit these. Did you miss the part about hubby being NOT HERE RIGHT NOW, and TODDLER, and MOMMY STILL WORKS, and HOLIDAYS? Photo editing? Ain’t nobody got time for dat!)

First, we have the grand entrance, where you will see family portraits delicately dressed with glittery snowflakes, family stockings hung with care and oh, what’s that? You can’t see past the crazy? Let me help.Christmas Decor StockingsExhibit A: Clearly a car accident between a sleigh riding snow man and a remote controlled car, driven by a 2 year old. I wonder who won? I wonder how long ago this happened? I hope they survived! 

Exhibit B: A laundry basket, nowhere near the laundry. Whatever, this is clearly a win as this laundry basket is EMPTY! BOOYA! Mom of the year, right here everyone!

Exhibit C: A broken picture frame that did not survive the soccer ball kick FROM HUBBY.

 

Moving right along…

Easy Christmas Card DisplayHere we can see a very simple, elegant, and fun way to display shoes…er, I mean Christmas cards. Yes, look up. There is Christmas in this photo, don’t let that mound of dirty shoes steal the thunder here!

As we turn around and enter the grand family room we see.. OH NO!

Car v SnowmanIt looks as though there was indeed a casualty from the snowman vs. toddler accident of 2013. This 4-wheeler had a driver last time I checked. A driver that was firmly and permanently affixed to his vehicle. I guess he was not wearing his seat belt! Lesson right here, kids!

Lets quickly move on to something merrier! Here we see our fresh, beautiful, bright Christmas tree. But wait a minute…

Cooky Christmas TreeLets work backwards here…

Exhibit C: More pine needles? But I’ve swept them up so many times already! What is this? I have a bad feeling this tree will not be making it to Christmas.Falling Christmas Tree Needles

Exhibit B: I do not remember decorating this tree with such a fabulous ornament! It looks shiny and expensive! This must be a gift from that annoying elf hiding around here somewhere. Surely Seb has not broken the cardinal rule and touched the precious tree!

Unexpected Christmas Ornament

Exhibit A: The driver! We found him! I feel we must update our understanding of this accident, however. Either this driver was clearly drinking or he has suffered a serious brain injury. Seeing as how his helmet is still on, I’m putting my money on spiked eggnog.

Go Home Dude, You're Drunk

Concerned cat is clearly concerned about the situation here.

Curious Kitty

Perhaps we shall move on to the outside. Surely I have it together there, right?

Christmas PoinsettiasThis rock buried poinsettia disagrees with your assumption. (You guys, the wind kept blowing it over and I didn’t want to actually have to like, plant it or something. Yikes!)

And there you have it. My clutter filled Christmas. Good thing Santa gave me exactly zero craps. That means I have none to give. Yay holidays!

About Anna

Hi there! This is my little blog project where I am trying to learn more about health, wellness and living a balanced life, while also sharing a bit of my silly side as well. By "silly" I mean sarcastic. And by "a bit" I mean way too much. Sorry about that.♥ - Anna

3 Comments

  1. Pingback: My Christmas Tree is Dead to Me | Modern Health Project

  2. Robin

    12/12/2013 at 11:49 am

    “I’m like a mom-shaped Roomba” awesome. I wish I had more of type B because I am type A all of the time! I want your cat btw, thanks.

    • Anna

      12/13/2013 at 1:22 pm

      This particular cat is actually a dog, I’m pretty sure. Nothing cat-like about her. She steals your food, begs to be played with, comes when called, and wants to always be held like a baby. She also cries when we leave. Not a real cat at all!

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