My Beloved Borax

By on 10/17/2013
Ode to Borax

Borax (not Borat), has recently become a new Favorite Thing in my stay-at-home-mom-part-time-realtor-wife life. I must spill my love for the world to see.

Borax, you simple, inexpensive, non-assuming, little white powder. You come from Boric Acid, and yet, unlike acid, you are so gentle and giving. Giving of your stain lifting, odor removing, grout polishing power. Rumor has it you are also great at removing acne, too! Would you be so kind as to maybe also go fix our government?

Ode to Borax

I happened upon you in Target one day. Your box called to me. It said, “You don’t know me, but you vaguely remember a friend once singing my praises. Buy me. Pick me. Choose me. Love me. I will show you great things!” So I grabbed you and tossed you in my giant, red cart.

Your first act of love was to remove the ever persistent “stank” from my husband’s smelly workout clothes. Hot water, cold water, extra soap, extra fabric softener… none of these things took away the deep undertones of BO and funk. I didn’t even measure you. I just dumped you in along with my regular detergent, and out came clean smelling clothes! A miracle hath occurred!

Next, you happily cleaned my bathroom grout. I smooshed and rubbed you all over my shower tile with a wet sponge and lo, your work shone brightly.

Finally, you made the ultimate move in declaring your love for me; your final act that has won me over for life. When the 2 year old’s :::ahem::: digestive track seemed… um… lets say, “upset” (is “spastically explosive in physics defying ways” a safe thing to say on the internet?), well, his diaper gave up rather quickly. It gave up while he was in his crib. Sick Seb poo covered his blanket, the fitted sheet, the mattress cover, his shirt, his pants, his stuffed bear, his stuffed elephant, his stuffed duck, his stuffed panda and his stuffed puppy (why yes, Seb loves stuffed animals!) It was the crappiest day ever. Pun most definitely intended. Previously, he has had only a few minor diaper leaks, none of which came anywhere close to the foulness of this, The Day of the Limitless Liquid Poo. These little leaks were all remedied by washing his clothes 2-3 times to fully eliminate the smell and staining. So on The Day of the Limitless Liquid Poo I knew I had a hefty laundry battle ahead of me.

Well, my friend, my loyal, loyal friend. You did not disappoint. In sheer terror, hubby shoved all aforementioned poop covered items into the washer with hot water, detergent, fabric softener, and what I can only assume was a good 2-3 cups of you, our loving Borax. You went to work. We soaked everything for about 30 minutes and then ran a normal cycle. I approached the washing machine fully expecting to be met with only *kind of clean* poop covered toddler treasures. But no! No smell or stain could be detected! None! The nightmare had been destroyed in one simple Borax battle. We dried everything after one washing and gave one final sniff test and stain inspection. They were good as new and ready to comfort their sick little boy with hours of fresh, clean snuggles!

No, there is no poo here. I wouldn't do that to you, internet.

No, there is no poo here. I wouldn’t do that to you, internet.

You, my friend, are unstoppable.

Borax, you are one of my new, favorite things!

About Anna

Hi there! This is my little blog project where I am trying to learn more about health, wellness and living a balanced life, while also sharing a bit of my silly side as well. By "silly" I mean sarcastic. And by "a bit" I mean way too much. Sorry about that.♥ - Anna

One Comment

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