Preschool Sobs. From Mom. 6 Weeks Early.

By on 11/19/2013
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When Seb turned two in August hubby and I agreed it was time to sign him up for preschool. Just part-time, so he can get that socialization and little toddler friendships thing going.

We visited close to 10 schools and sneered at them all. Too dirty, too disorganized, too rigid, too relaxed, too much TV, kids looked mean, I don’t like the teacher’s hair, building needs to be painted, hey, we don’t really have to do this right now, right? Right. Good.

And so the August preschool deadline was pushed into September, but only because we couldn’t find the right school. That’s the only reason, promise. We mustn’t compromise his entire future because of a poor preschool choice, so we will just take more time. That’s all.

Then, in late September, we found The School. I knew it by the time I was in the parking lot. Just the building’s vibe alone sold it. Meeting the Director, the tour and meeting Seb’s would-be teacher and class confirmed it. This here, this is Seb’s first school. This is where he will have his first teacher and first little school assignments and first recess and first friends.

What school? Well, I’m not sure of internet safety rules and stuff, so we will just say a South Florida hippy school, of which there are many, but of which, I’m sure, this is the best one. It’s calm, happy, experimental, and exploratory. Just like Seb.

The School, we finally found it in late September.

But you know, the holidays! They are right around the corner. And Seb is so gentle and shy and  sweet and perfect right here in our happy little home. We shouldn’t shake up his little world too soon. Maybe we should wait just a bit longer.  You know, for him. Plus we can save the monthly tuition for now. Let’s give Seb time to adjust to the idea of school. I think Seb needs more time.

The subject was pushed to the back burner again. You know, for Seb.

Until this week.

“Babe, you know, if he is going to start in January we should probably register him now. Just to be sure he gets a spot and to finally give us a hard start date.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I already have his immunization forms and all the paperwork. I’ll just go drop it off this week and pay the registration fee. It will be nice to have it done and I’m sure it’s the right school.”

And so that’s what I did today. Now, here I sit at Starbucks, updating this blog after leaving the school with Seb officially signed up. His first day is January 6. I’m sitting at a small table outside with my sunglasses on. It’s overcast and completely unnecessary, but I have to hide these tears somehow.

After his registration was complete I started to leave and the bubbly Director nonchalantly said, “Oh, if he has a favorite stuffed animal or blanket or something please feel free to bring it for his nap time!”

Seb and Blue Bear

I immediately choked up and couldn’t respond. My broken voice would betray my brave exterior. I just smiled and left.

My sweet baby boy and his beloved Blue Bear will have to nap in a new, scary classroom. And I will be a world away, habitually checking on an empty crib.

My baby is growing up too damn fast.

January 6 better take its sweet time arriving. I’m not ready to send him off on his own to learn and grow and navigate this big, scary world without his mommy by his side.

But I know he is.

 

 

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About Anna

Hi there! This is my little blog project where I am trying to learn more about health, wellness and living a balanced life, while also sharing a bit of my silly side as well. By "silly" I mean sarcastic. And by "a bit" I mean way too much. Sorry about that.♥ - Anna

2 Comments

  1. Pingback: Oh Hi, Remember Me? | Modern Health Project

  2. Dayna

    11/21/2013 at 2:47 pm

    That long baby is going to be busy wrapping all of the teachers around his little finger, perfecting his More Please (maw peees) technique of cookie gathering.

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